What Is A Motorcycle Squid? (And How To Avoid Becoming One)

If you've been a car driver or motorcycle rider for long enough, then you're probably familiar with the following scenario: you're minding your own business out on the road when suddenly, some madman comes blasting up next to you, swerving his motorcycle around in a remarkably boneheaded fashion. If you've experienced this before, then you've had the distinct misfortune of meeting a motorcycle squid.

"Squid" is a slang term used by the motorcycle-riding community to refer to those who ride in an overly flashy, distinctly unsafe way. These are individuals who are very likely to cause some kind of accident while out on the road and are regular nominees for the Darwin Awards. Squids are everywhere, and if you've never encountered one before, you probably will someday. Squids are some of the most obnoxious people you'll meet on the road, and it's important that you take all the proper measures to keep from becoming a squid yourself.

The precise origin of the term "squid" is a little murky, but one popular theory posits that it's a loan term from the west coast surfing scene popularized in the 1970s. Amateur surfers who could barely control their boards on a large wave would begin shaking side-to-side before falling over, a process known to some as squirrely surfing. These "squirrely kids" were eventually abbreviated to just "squids," after which the term began to spread to similar hobbies like motorcycle riding.

In the context of motorcycles, a squid is someone who drives in an overtly unsafe manner, such as going extremely fast on a straightaway road or rapidly swerving between lanes. It's a stupid, dangerous way to drive, often exhibited by newcomers trying to show off. This kind of behavior is often accompanied by a disregard for rules like wearing proper protective gear. While being a squid is often associated with being young and impulsive, it's not strictly the realm of teenagers; anyone of any age and origin can be a squid if they're lacking in common sense.

If you're worried about being a squid yourself, then you're probably not one. The best way to avoid being a squid is to simply remember your common sense safety protocol, as just about every simple safety tactic you're taught in a motorcycle safety course will help you avoid squidhood.

The most important thing is to be conscientious of other motorists while out on the road. Keep your speed level and reasonable, don't crowd or harass other drivers, don't try to perform any stupid stunts like popping wheelies, and so on. A motorcycle is not a toy, and you are not a superhero; you are a squishy human with a very delicate control over several tons of burning-hot steel, and you should treat that situation with the care and reverence it deserves. If you believe a sudden crash can't happen to you, you're believing a myth.

As long as you remember to drive safely and smartly, you will not become a squid. As for those times when you're "graced" by the presence of a squid on the road, the best thing to do is give them a wide berth and be defensive. If anyone is driving in an obviously unsafe manner, you'll want to be far away when things inevitably go wrong.