2024 Cadillac Escalade V-Series Review: Can A 682 Horsepower SUV Ever Make Sense?

The Cadillac Escalade is an elite SUV. The ever-performing jewel in Caddy's line-up may share its underpinnings with a Chevrolet Tahoe costing about half as much, but lavish packaging and clever positioning means it's laser-targeted at the elites in society (or, at least, for people who think they're among the privileged few). 

Right off the bat, you know the big Cadillac is ostentatious and ridiculous. Introduced in 2021, the fifth-generation of luxo-barge looks like a combination of a yacht and a gothic cathedral with its huge grille, angled juxtapositions of bodywork, and towering frame. It's not even attempting to be subtle, the vehicular equivalent of loudly talking about your "house on the lake."

The 2024 Cadillac Escalade V-Series takes that notion even further through the advent of forced induction and the addition of tens of thousands of dollars. What sets the V-series apart from the normal Tony Soprano-mobile is the addition of a supercharger onto its 6.2-liter V8. It's the same hand built LT4 V8 engine as the Corvette Z06, in fact, and it takes the regular Escalade's 420 horsepower to 682 hp. Because, after all, why not? No one told Cadillac it couldn't do it, and it's clearly better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

With a vehicle this ridiculous, it'd be easy to jump to comparing it to the other huge, ill-conceived golden calf of American excess, the Tesla Cybertruck. Undoubtedly, though, the Cadillac fits into a different category than Musk's angular vanity project. While it's true that both the Escalade V-Series and the Cybertruck are unserious vehicles that you might assume are only being purchased by people getting actively investigated by the IRS, the idea behind the V-Series is older than that of the Cybertruck.

The genesis of the supercharged Caddy can likely be traced back to another brand entirely: Dodge. Way back in 2015, Dodge reminded the world that superchargers existed with the creation of the Challenger and Charger Hellcats. Later, the 700-plus horsepower Hellcat heart was transplanted into a Jeep Grand Cherokee and Dodge Durango. With those SUVs, Dodge (perhaps unwittingly) created a new genre of vehicle, the American Uber-SUV. Such a vehicle has no real-world use scenario, unless you count loudly revving the engine in a Royal Farms parking lot a practical application.

Evolutionary origins aside, how does the Escalade V-Series perform its duty as a vehicle with four wheels that you can — in theory — buy? After all, while it may be a monument to the sins of greed, it is also a car you can drive to the store. I may be betraying my humble roots in admitting this, but the Escalade was an absolute blast to drive. 

It's huge, economically impractical for any drive further than a few miles, and a lot of fun. Having more horsepower than some supercars on tap with an SUV as big as an aircraft carrier was never dull. The exhaust was loud enough to constitute an act of war on my neighbors.

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Among many contrary aspects of the vehicle, it's not actually that fast, at least comparatively. Cadillac says it will go from 0 to 60 miles per hour in 4.4 seconds. That's fast for a boat like the Escalade, but practically sitting still for other cars in the same horsepower bracket. The top speed is limited to 125 miles per hour. Inside the Caddy, however, you feel like you're piloting the Millennium Falcon through hyperspace every time you punch the throttle. Tackling curves at speed isn't really a sensible option in the V-Series, but the magnetic suspension that's standard on all Escalades handled the heft of the vehicle surprisingly well. Body roll was basically nonexistent when cornering and it was remarkably controllable. It never felt like it was running away from me or getting out of hand.

Leaning into its excessive tendencies, the Cadillac drank fuel. It has an estimated rating of 13 miles per gallon, although that could drop to single digits if you tried hard enough. Similarly, if you were light on the throttle like I was, that fuel economy rating can climb to around 19 miles per gallon. That isn't good, per se, but it's acceptable for a car that weighs over 6,000 pounds and has enough horsepower to violate international arms treaties.

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Given that it's still a Cadillac, the epitome of American luxury brands, quilted leather covered almost every single surface on the inside and it was supremely comfortable to ride around in for me and my passengers. It's essentially a private jet, speed and all. In the hot summer, the ventilated leather seats were a lifesaver, and the included mini refrigerator in the center console was a welcome touch. I used it the entire week. 

The AKG sound system provided a nice soundtrack for the week and made everything from Charley Pride's "Kiss an Angel Good Morning" to Iron Maiden's "Aces High" sound fantastic. It better sound good, because it has 36 speakers. For reference, most cars have between six and ten.

The full feature list of the Escalade V-Series is, frankly, completely obscene. It has a night vision system that displays an image of what the car can "see" at night. The instrument cluster and infotainment screen are one continuous 38-inch long display. It has 16-way power front seats that can massage you. The interior features microphones and a noise-cancelling system to ensure that your passengers in the back seat can hear you talking. The displays available to the middle row have YouTube installed. 

Whether riding or driving this Cadillac, you are entertained, comforted, and propelled to your destination as fast as legally allowed. It's the most well-equipped American vehicle I have ever driven, and it made me angry that I like it so much.

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A base model 2024 Escalade starts at $81,895. The V-Series starts at an upsetting $152,295. The particular Cadillac-shaped armored personnel carrier I was driving was finished in "Radiant Red" which pushed the price a further $1,225. The aforementioned tiny fridge is a $700 option (yes, more expensive than many basic full-size fridges). A heavy-duty trailering package (taking tow capacity up to 7,000 pounds, more than 1,000 pounds down than the best-performing regular Escalade) and all-weather floor liners add $600 and $375 to the price tag, respectively. Throw in a $1,995 destination charge and you arrive at the 2024 Cadillac Escalade V-Series' full price tag of $157,190. (Hold for gasps).

I don't know what segment of the market the Escalade V-Series is supposed to occupy. It's huge, expensive, and luxurious like its German competitors from Mercedes-Maybach, yet still less expensive than the pinnacle of Stuttgart motoring. It has a positively unholy amount of horsepower like Hellcat miscreants. Yet, it's not as fast as its compatriots from Detroit. Additionally, I don't really want to meet someone who insists on getting the V-Series. From a practicality standpoint, the supercharger isn't going to help you very much, and really only assists in making the car significantly louder and more obnoxious. Yes, that's a selling point for some people.

Yet overall, I loved the Escalade, even if it's entirely against my better judgement to do so. It's the epitome of flashy, excessive, and brash: It shouldn't be as good as it is. It's a crime against nature by sheer virtue of its existence, and has no right being as compelling as I found it. I was smiling the entire time I was behind the wheel. Even if I somehow quintupled my salary to be able to afford one, I wouldn't buy one, and rationally nor should you. 

A 682 horsepower Cadillac Escalade will solve exactly zero of your problems: It's been said, after all, that "one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." Despite all of these warnings and admonitions, there are few vehicles like the Cadillac Escalade V-Series currently on the market today, and if you absolutely need the biggest, dumbest, fastest, and loudest vehicle to come out of America, there is only the Escalade.